Faced with Defense of Marriage Act, mixed-nation gay married couples want a half-solution

Immigration sponsorship is not a federal benefit available to LGBT Americans with foreign spouses. But activists say a temporary policy would ‘mean the world.’

By JR Tungol

Last April, Illinois residents Sveta and Andi Apodaca, partners for the past 11 years, crossed the Mississippi River and got married in Iowa — one of seven states that recognizes gay marriage. Like most same-sex couples, the Apodacas face many challenges due to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a 1996 federal law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Andi, a 37-year-old American citizen, can’t sponsor the 30-year-old Sveta, who was born in Kazakhstan, through the naturalization process because the system doesn’t acknowledge gay couples. “Being able to say ‘I’m a citizen’ would be nice,” says Sveta, who had a student visa from when she was 15 until she was granted asylum at 29.

President Obama announced his support of same-sex marriage in May, though he did not propose new legislation. “I’ve just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married,” he told ABC news.

But despite Obama’s comments and his administration’s denouncement of DOMA last year, the act is still law.

Sveta and other married gay immigrants often go through a never-ending cycle of applying for and extending expiring visitor and student visas to stay together with their spouses.

To offer these couples some respite, immigration activists are pushing for Congress to approve an “abeyance” policy, which would put green card applications from gay married couples on the backburner so they could indefinitely stay in the U.S.

U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services declined to comment on whether the department plans to draft an abeyance policy, but Press Secretary Christopher Bentley released the following statement: “Pursuant to the Attorney General’s guidance, the Defense of Marriage Act remains in effect and the Executive Branch, including DHS and USCIS, will continue to enforce it unless and until Congress repeals it or [if] there’s a final judicial determination that it is unconstitutional.”

In Kazakhstan, Sveta says, “coming out is unthinkable.” She filed for asylum in 2009 when she wasn’t able to renew her work visa after she finished two masters degree programs in computer science and instructional design in technology. She had to show immigration services she feared being persecuted in her home country to avoid deportation.

“Crappy would be an understatement,” Sveta says of her two-year wait for asylum. “We were in it for the long haul. It felt like standing on the edge and being pushed over, that feeling of dread and hopelessness.”

While the immigration court reviewed the Kazakhstani’s asylum case, she and Andi got married, although they knew it wouldn’t change Andi’s ability to sponsor her wife.

Eventually in June 2011, the immigration court granted Sveta “asylee” status. She holds no passport and is not a citizen of any country. Regardless, “It felt like we could live our lives again,” Sveta says.

Now, Sveta, who works as a computer programmer at Western Illinois University, gets to stay in the U.S. with her wife but can’t travel outside of the country.

Although Illinois legalized them last year, civil unions are less significant than marriages, says Michael Jarecki, an attorney who also advises U.S. Congressman Mike Quigley on immigration and LGBT rights issues. “A civil union gives no…immigration rights to binational couples at this time,” Jarecki says.

Though she’s now a legal resident, Sveta continues to fight for an abeyance policy. She volunteers for the DOMA Project: Stop the Deportations, a campaign started by Immigration Equality, a national organization that fights for LGBT immigration rights. She maintains the group’s website.

“Being able to speak to other couples and help them get their stories out, it’s really made a difference for myself,” Sveta says. “I’m a human being, and I deserve equal rights.”

June will mark the one-year anniversary of legal same-sex civil unions in Illinois and the beginning of gay pride month. While celebrating, the LGBT community and activists like Sveta will continue to fight for an abeyance policy and the repeal of DOMA.

“Everything takes time,” says Jarecki. “It takes visibility and exposure for people to see the discrimination and how it’s affecting people.”

Same-sex marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships by state

States in the U.S. with legalized same-sex marriage: Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York and Vermont.

States in the U.S. with legalized civil unions or domestic partnerships for same-sex couples: California, Colorado, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington and Wisconsin.

Legal rights granted to gay couples in marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships can vary from state to state, as every state defines the relationship designations differently. For the most part, all three definitions give couples state-level rights but not federal-level rights. One federal benefit that gay couples in marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships don’t have is the right to claim their deceased spouse’s social security payments.